We live in a world where being sexy means putting on your 8 inch heels, perking your booty up with garters and finding your deepest shade of red to adorn your lips…or do we? Sometimes we get caught up in this preconceived notion that there’s only one way to be sexy. Simply put, being sexy means different things to different people. That being said, how do you figure out what “being sexy” means to you? Never fear, my dear Unicorns of the world. Let’s explore different ways to channel your inner “sexy beast”:
Part 1: Find your “Super Power”
How do you know what being sexy means to you? If you’re anything like myself, then this is a very challenging question to answer. Part of feeling sexy is getting to a point where you genuinely and truly love yourself. I know what you’re thinking. This is easier said than done. Especially when, in many cases, you are your own worst critic. NEVER FEAR!!!! It doesn’t need to be all at once. For me, it started with finding small features of my own self that I personally thought was beautiful, sexy, or otherwise made me feel incredibly confident. Start small. Perhaps look try to figure one feature of who you are that makes you feel good. While this feature may be something physical (your eyes, your nose, your butt etc.) it can also be something about your personality (the way you have read more books than anybody else, your ability to tell the best knock-knock jokes, or perhaps your wonderful knack for mathematics). In my own case, I grew to love my obnoxiously loud laughter (trust me, even if I’m in an audience of over one thousand people, you can still hear me laugh from across the room!). I call these little things “superpowers”.
Part 2: Use it or Loose It
Once you’ve found your superpower, learn to embrace it and use it every chance you get. In my own case, I am naturally a clumsy person. Instead of forcing myself to be a slinky, flowy, sexy kitten of a dancer, I have learned to use my clumsiness for the greater good in routines that take on a comedic nature. This has allowed me to not only improve my overall quality of movement (After all, I have to be decisive in knowing when it’s best to use my superpower for the greater good) but has afforded me the ability to love myself for who I am. This is the true power that comes from embracing your strengths and working with your weaknesses.
Part 3: Say it with me: “BElieve in YOUrself”
I think we allow ourselves to want to be people we are not. In a previous blog post, I wrote about taking inspiration from others while still being true to who YOU are. This point rings true in this matter too; you must be who you are in order to be the “sexiest” you there is. I saw around the Internet a meme that stated, “use others as your guideline not your manual.” There is only one of each of us and it is pointless trying to be someone else. No body can you as well as you can. Be you. Own it. Love it. Embrace it (you majestic AF Unicorn you!).
Part 4: Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. Look Outside the Box
Sometimes the best way to discover your own self is by going outside of your comfort zone. After all, that is how many of us found pole dancing to begin with isn’t it? In the pole world, this might mean taking a workshop with a person whose style is completely different from your own. Or, alternatively, you could try taking a dance class that isn’t an aerial one. No matter what you do, try challenging yourself to explore other potential arenas of your personality. I recently took an Exotic Dance workshop with the impeccable Josiah Grant. This, being completely out of my typical repertoire of movement, allowed me to venture into a different realm wherein I was able to explore a whole different side of myself…. and DANG! It looked gooooodddd! It was interesting to see how differently I moved once I forced myself into a completely opposite mindset of what I’m used to (i.e. I traded in my hilarious poop jokes for a set of 7 inch stilettos and a saucy attitude). While I still have every intention of sticking to my #2 ways (you see what I did there?), it was very liberating (and pleasantly surprising) to see what else I was capable of doing.
My name is Amy aka The Pole Comedian. I feel sexiest when I’m acting silly and telling poop jokes. 8-inch heels have no place on my feet and I don’t even own a set of garters. I feel most empowered by my clown nose. This not what makes everyone else feel sexy but I don’t care. Acting this way makes me feel comfortable; as though I’m coming home to myself. Sometimes I might visit other people’s homes and that’s ok too. Sometimes it even helps to see things outside of our own world. Being sexy is personal. Find your confidence in yourself and “sexiness” will follow. I promise.